You know that feeling where your prospective client starts to resist and you suddenly find yourself pursuing him or her more than you planned? You’re leaning forward in your chair, you may be a little aggressive, and you’re working harder on “selling them” than they are to enroll you to become their mentor or teacher?

The next time you find yourself in that uncomfortable place, shift that dynamic with a fun technique I call the “un-sell.”

The un-sell is about taking the pressure off so that your prospects can pursue you again. You pull back a little, which provides space for the prospect to come toward you, which they will do if they’re interested. Then, your dynamic is back on track. If they don’t come forward, you know they’re not interested, so you can stop wasting your time and theirs. (Yes, ladies, this works really well with men too – wink-wink.)

The un-sell also serves your prospective clients, because it puts the decision back into their court, where it belongs.

To get to the place where you can un-sell, you need to keep your posture with a mindset I call “committed but not attached.” This means that you’re committed to their making a decision, but you’re truly not attached to what that decision is.

Here’s what the un-sell looks like in these different scenarios:

One-on-one sales call. When you find yourself in that aggressive, leaning-forward pursuit energy, you want to energetically and physically lean back. Sit back in your chair, take a breath, and then start to agree with how the prospect is talking him- or herself out of transforming his or her life.

One of the ways I’ve handled this in the past is by saying something like, “You know what, maybe you’re right. Maybe this isn’t the right time for you. Maybe it’s best that you struggle with XYZ a little longer. A lot of growth can come from staying in the struggle.”

This usually wakes people up into realizing that they’re arguing against their own transformation, and, in many cases, they’ll get back on track with enrolling themselves.

Teleseminar preview call or Speak-to-Sell talk. When I’m speaking to an audience about my offer, I’ll talk about who it’s for, but I also make some points about specifically who my program is not for. This is powerful because if audience members are interested, they’ll start making the case in their mind. They’ll think, “Oh, she’s not talking about me, this program is for me.” They start selling themselves on the program.

The un-sell also lends you credibility because you’re not just saying to everybody, “Hey, this program is for you!” You’re specific about whom it’s for and whom it’s not.

The un-sell is an indispensible tool that can get you out of the jam of pursuit and help you seal the deal while continuing to serve your prospects at the highest level AND feel great about it.

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