My friend and colleague Suzanne Falter-Barns told me recently that I convey a quality on stage that if I could tell people how to do that, it would make a big difference in their presentation. That quality she was talking about is something I learned a long time ago through Landmark Education. It’s called: committed but not attached.

The way I use that when speaking from the stage is this: I’m committed to the person making a decision, but I’m not attached to what that decision is.

When you’re on the stage, as part of your commitment to the person making a decision, you provide valuable information. You give them the background they need. You make sure they’re clear on the outcome and the transformation that will happen in their life if they say yes. And you even make them an Irresistible Offer that has some kind of limit on it. It will expire today or it’s only going to the first X number of people. Those actions on your part all stem from your commitment that they make a decision.

At the same time, you remain unattached to what decision they make. You’re cool as a cucumber about whether they say yes or no. And you truly need to be. When you’re too attached to the sale you can come off as needy or salesy. But if you’re unattached, the prospect feels complete freedom and support to make the best decision for him or herself. They end up trusting you more — as well they should — because you haven’t pressured them in any way.

The very last result you want is another person walking around “thinking about it.” As I’ve said before, cluttering up their life with indecision and inaction.

Remember, deciding “no” is also decisive action.

It reminds me of a lesson I learned as a young girl: if someone asks you to dance, give him an answer. If you say “yes,” that’s great, you’ve taken decisive action and you’re dancing. If you say “no,” the person is free to ask someone else. The worst thing you can do is say “maybe,” or “let me think about it,” because you’ve left that person hanging. He doesn’t know whether to stay or go or when to check back in with you. It puts everything in limbo.

The same thing happens when your clients leave “thinking about it.” You’re in limbo; they’re in limbo. And that’s not good for anyone.

So, be committed to your prospects making a decision, give them everything they need in order to do that, and then let go. You’ll feel more confidence and serenity, and your prospects and eventual clients will feel great, too. Not only that, but when we don’t try to control the outcome, our results are better. Try it for yourself and see.